24 July, 2009

Top 10 Recession Cocktails: Try the Sub-Prime Margarita, the Bankruptcy Bomb, the Broke American and More!

Anybody else a little bit stressed out about their finances? Their jobs? The economy?

You know what? I think we could use a drink.

“Alas!” you may be saying. “I cannot even afford to drink!” But that’s not necessarily true.

By changing a few ingredients – or laying off them entirely – you can still have something that’s pretty close to the original. At the very least, these are fun drinks to try when you need a cheap night in.

And since you’re drinking in – instead of out at some expensive bar – you may even be able to afford to buy a round for your friends in your home.

10 Economically Depressed Cocktails for Economically Depressed Times

  1. The Laid Off Raspberry Lemonade. Take your unemployment check to the store. Purchase 1 bottle of lemonade. 1 bottle of raspberry vodka. Combine and serve over ice at a point in the day when you would normally be at work.
  2. The Broke American. You can’t afford the cream, so instead of a White Russian just have a Broke American. Combine three parts vodka with two parts Kahlua, a very affordable liquor. Pour over ice into an empty savings account.
  3. The Meager Earnings Mojito. Garnishes and fruits can be expensive. So why not grow your own? Mint plants are hardy and reproduce quickly. So this recipe uses homegrown mint and clear rum, which is one of the most affordable liquors you can buy. To make one: Place a couple of mint leaves in the bottom of a glass with a couple spoonfuls of sugar, a few squirts of lime juice and your concerns about making ends meet. Muddle this together. Add three ounces light rum, ice and a splash of Sprite or tonic water (whichever is cheaper) and enjoy.
  4. The Manhattan Foreclosure. If the bank took your home, your maraschino cherries and your bitters, this is what you’d have. Mix 2.5 ounces of bourbon with .75 ounces of sweet vermouth. Serve with foreclosure note as cocktail napkin.
  5. The Economic Perfect Storm. It takes just the right ingredients for this to happen. For best results, call some friends, because, just like the economy, this punch will affect everyone. First: Go shopping. Hit up the sales, specials and coupons. Grab some on-sale fruit juice, some affordable, in-season fruit and some liquor on special. Combine all in a large pitcher or tub or jug or whatever. Mix up with ice and serve in mason jars.
  6. The Sub-Prime Margarita. This isn’t worth as much as a regular margarita. Take a can of frozen limeade and add tequila to taste. Serve with salted glass rim. Be aware: One too many more than the real estate bubble will be bursting.
  7. The Roth IRA (Individually Relaxing Alcohol). Your real Roth IRA may be gone, but you can build a new one in just a few weeks. Cheap vodka can be bad, so kick it up with a little homegrown fruit. Simply add your favorite fruit to any vodka. Seal and let sit in a dark, cool area for one or two weeks. Then, you’ve got your own trendy, flavored vodka. Mix with tonic water. Serve over ice, garnish with a wedge of your portfolio’s former wealth.
  8. The Bankruptcy Bomb: Hits hard, but is quick and effective. Pour 8 ounces of Pabst Blue Ribbon into a large glass. Pour 1 shot of dark rum. Drop the shot into the glass, drink quickly. Filing bankruptcy never tasted so good.
  9. The Stimulus Plan Sangria: Here’s a stimulus plan to get you back on your feet. Great for parties or other shovel-ready projects. There are many varieties of sangria and you can adjust the fruits and type of wine to suit your tastes and occasions. But, a general recipe guide would include: 1 bottle of cheap wine, a few splashes of fruit juice, plenty of sliced fruit and berries, ½ cup of sugar, sparkling water and 4 cups Sprite or ginger ale. Add some citrus to a sparkling white wine or throw in some berries for a dark red sangria.
  10. The Total Economic Collapse: Kool-Aid, Pure Grain Alcohol, rotten fruit. On second thought, maybe this one should be avoided.

Just because the big banks and investors were irresponsible with the economy doesn’t mean you have to be when drinking. Show them what you’re made of and drink responsibly.

Bottoms up for not bottoming out!

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4 Comments to Top 10 Recession Cocktails: Try the Sub-Prime Margarita, the Bankruptcy Bomb, the Broke American and More!

  1. Total Bankruptcy (totalbankruptcy) 's status on Friday, 24-Jul-09 18:38:03 UTC - Identi.ca

    [...] 10 Recession Cocktails: The Sub-Prime Margarita, Bankruptcy Bomb & More! http://www.totalbankruptcy.com/debtress/top-10-recession-cocktails/ [...]

  2. Vince

    Hey Debtress, this is a hilarious (and very useful) top ten list. I like the Meager Earnings Mojito, I think “making ends meet” would be a good tasting ingredient. You can cross-post this to our site http://www.toptentopten.com/ and link back to your site. We are trying to create a directory for top ten lists where people can find your site. The coolest feature is you can let other people vote on the rankings of your list.

  3. Pharmk447

    Very nice site!

  4. Jenna Sia

    the Economic recession made a lot of jobless people in my own country. We could only hope that our economy becomes strong again :) ,

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